Archive for 'Making Marriage Last'
Today we are going into a tough topic that does require you to look DEEPLY within yourself, and possibly identify some areas of self-improvement.
However, I hope that you find it rewarding and eye-opening… And hopefully it can provide a basis for change in your marriage.
Because remember, you ALWAYS have power to bring about change in your situation simply by making changes to your OWN behavior.
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse – I’m sure you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
You live with your spouse. You see them every day. But why does it feel like lately they have been a million miles away?
How is it possible that this person you know so well has started feeling like a stranger?
And most importantly, how can you get them to come back to you?
When you first get married, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to think that something as mundane as housework could ever destroy the love between you and your beloved, right?
But unfortunately, the sad reality is that the way couples manage household tasks has a MASSIVE impact on their marriage satisfaction and their overall wellbeing.
In fact, sharing household chores has frequently been rated among the TOP THREE factors that determines the success of a marriage – it really is a big deal!
Do you and your spouse find yourselves constantly fighting about everything when it comes to your children?
Can you never seem to agree on things like discipline, bedtimes, and who can take the kids to sports practice?
If so, you’re not alone. Parenting is challenging, especially when spouses have experienced completely different upbringings.
Marriage counseling (or therapy) is never an experience couples are likely to feel excited about.
Dealing with problems between yourself and someone you love is never easy, and for some the thought of going to counseling sessions with their spouse is terrifying.
But often what we are really afraid of is the unknown. Marriage therapy forces us to face our fears and actually communicate about what is happening in our relationship, with no solid guarantee of a particular outcome.
Even in the healthiest of marriages spouses have complaints to make about one another.
It’s true. It’s not the complaints themselves that cause trouble in a marriage, it is the way that spouses HANDLE complaints.
This blog post is written as a bit of a ‘question-and-answer’ session about the dos and don’ts of dealing with any complaints in your marriage.
In our marriage consultations, we are often asked for advice on what spouses should do when they feel that there is no ‘passion’, ‘chemistry’, or ‘spark’ left in their marriage.
At this point, couples are usually reporting a large decline in their sex life, a lack of physical affection, and general feelings of not being ‘in love’ anymore.
Does this sound like your marriage?
Today’s exercise is about learning how to control your reactions to your spouse – a step which is absolutely VITAL in your efforts to save your marriage.
The fact is that you can’t control your spouse’s behavior. But you can control your REACTIONS to your spouse’s behavior.
And if these reactions change for the better, the outcomes will also become more positive.
Do you often feel controlled by your spouse? Do you feel that your spouse has all of the power in your marriage, and that you are under their ‘command’?
An imbalance of control in a marriage is a major sign that the relationship is in ill-health.
Over-control is when one spouse (husband or wife) tries to make the other do things, think, or feel a certain way, rather than accepting the natural differences that exist between them.