While answering a submission for a client the other day, I was aware that the woman I was working with had never stepped outside her comfort zone. What I mean by this is that she had spent a lifetime avoiding anything she didn’t like the look of, and simply avoiding any issues that she came across.
Some would say she had a stress-free life. Some would say she had a sheltered life. I felt that she had done herself a disservice in sheltering herself from the issues surrounding her, because now that she had a marriage crisis she never had the capability to face the problem or find solutions or ways to overcome it.
I told her that she needed to step outside her comfort zone if she was going to grow and learn from this experience. And this got me to wondering about the significance of this statement.
As we live our lives, whether we choose to or not, we develop routines and rituals that define us and the way we live our lives. The routines and rituals feel familiar, feel safe, and don’t challenge us in the way that the world outside our bubble does. The bubble we create is called our comfort zone, and it is possible to live in complete harmony in the unchanging nature of our zone, with the security of knowing that nothing is going to change or challenge us as long as we stay within it.
When we talk about being in our comfort zone, this can apply to our work, our living environment, our friendships, and even our relationships. You become so used to something you become reluctant to change or let it go.
The danger in not stepping outside your comfort zone is that you avoid the need to learn anything or grow as a person. Every opportunity and experience in life, whether it is good or bad, allows us the opportunity to learn a lesson, either about ourselves or about those around us.
Stepping outside the zone can seem scary or challenging, but it is at times like this in our life that our capacity to learn is increased immeasurably. Our period of greatest transformation is when we are challenging our sense of comfort and challenging our perceptions of what we are capable of.
Sometimes the path through your marriage crisis toward marital bliss on the other side seems impossible. Sometimes it seems like you just can’t do it. But in stepping outside your limits and pushing yourself, you can find an inner strength and understanding that makes your marital resolution possible and achievable.
Instead of looking at your problems as a time of pain and frustration, examine what you can learn from this. What can your crisis teach you? Examine the ways you can push yourself to a higher level of understanding and find a strength you never knew you had.
It all begins with one step. And a whole lot of belief.
