Comments on: Understanding Projection

By: amanda

amanda — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 06:04:11 +0000

I found your article and showed it to my sister. Because she was having trouble in her marriage without give forgiveness for her husband mistakes.I hope she will read your article with her husband.Thank you…

By: dave

dave — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 05:55:39 +0000

My wife sounds alot like that always bitc.. and complaining now she needs space and might want to experience other men.

By: Karen J. Osterle, LICSW

Karen J. Osterle, LICSW — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:37:53 +0000

Yours was a wonderful article, and I couldn’t agree more about not rushing in to an apology without the understanding, just to try to make peace.–Some of us learn the hard way from this type of reaction.

The concept of projection is a very important one to understand. I respectuflly submit that there might be another useful concept for your readers–an extension of projection, if you will, which is referred to as projective identification. It’s relevant not only to spousal relationships, but also to friendships, work relationships, and even in a sociological context.

Please let me know if you are interested in a clear, understandable definition of projective identification, and I will be glad to share it with you.

Thanks again for your post.

By: Randy K

Randy K — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:15:24 +0000

For years I thought my wife’s outbursts and tempers were about me, but reading your article I’m beginning to see it may have been projection. She was so unhappy and depressed, and she didn’t know how to deal with it. Since she has been going to counseling, she is a totally different person, nice, caring, and supportive of me. The counselor felt her anger towards me was indicative of childhood wounds, and she’s on the road to healing now

By: Mitch

Mitch — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 02:21:05 +0000

Man, I don’t know what those women did, but it sounds like they need to apologize. My wife has a group of friends like that, and when they get together, it’s plain nasty. Too much damn time on their hands. Funny thing is, beneath it all they’re really insecure. My wife is starting to see that too, which is a good thing. Keep up the good articles!

By: Joan

Joan — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 01:35:54 +0000

Thank you Andrew for your insights. My husband was one of those people that projected his anger towards me when he was depressed or frustrated, and for years I thought it was my fault. Once a friend pointed out to me that he was projecting, it really helped me understand him and helped me develop a better response. Thanks for bringing this topic to our attention.