Cheat on Your Partner? Get Great Marriage-Saving Tips and Advice in My Free Newsletter Series!
Welcome to my Save My Marriage Today Newsletter Series! If you are looking for effective, powerful tips and techniques to save your marriage from the verge of divorce and rebuild the love that you both once had - even if your partner doesn't want to - then read on!
Ways to overcome infidelity
By Andrew Rusbatch
I received an email from a member the other day who had two affairs, the second of which resulted in the birth of a child. The couple here were having issues surrounding the betrayal of two affairs, as well as the husband's obligation to the child he fathered.
These sorts of scenarios are very complicated, yet they are increasingly common. Infidelity is right up there as one of the top issues of marital conflicts, and it presents a real challenge to couples who want to turn things around and rebuild a marriage.
I have removed any references that may identify the client, but felt that my response to this client is worthy of sharing with so many other couples out there in similar circumstances.
Here is my response:
I guess what you are dealing here is not so much your wife's loss of feelings for you, but a reaction to a breach of trust. When your wife tells you she has no feelings for you, I don't think this translates as her not loving you.
However you have had two affairs, and in doing so, have indicated to your wife that you are not worthy of her trust. Telling her you love her and will change is meaningless at this stage, as your actions in having a second affair and fathering a child go against this promise.
Words are not going to fix your marriage. Your actions are going to indicate to her how serious you are about staying in the relationship and whether you really are going to make a commitment to change.
This may involve some major changes to your life, and saving your marriage may involve you changing jobs, changing neighborhoods, or even changing cities in order to leave your past behind. Are you prepared to do this?
You mentioned you are in counseling. What specifically are you receiving counseling for? What issues are you going through? What behaviors are you trying to understand and change?
Are you making progress? Is this progress measurable?
Telling your wife that you want nothing to do with that woman or child is not going to make your obligations to that child go away. This is something that you are not going to be able to walk away from, and is something that is going to be a part of your life on some level for many years to come.
Your wife has not stopped loving you, however the distrust that she now has for you is the barrier that will stop her from reciprocating your love. If you are going to save your marriage, your wife needs to start trusting you again. This may or may not be possible.
You can't control her reaction to your affairs, but you can control your response to it, and your responses to her reactions. You need to find ways of demonstrating your love, in small ways, so that despite her not liking you at the moment, your support and thought for her is evident.
I identify ways of loving your wife in Chapter 7 of Book 2: Marriages in Extreme Crisis.
Love is a doing word. Find small ways to do things and demonstrate your love on a very practical level. If she works, make her lunch for her. Make a cup of coffee for her in the morning. Make her breakfast. Leave flowers on her bedside table. Keep up with the housework, or iron her favorite blouse when you are ironing your shirts.
Get her sister, another family member, or a friend to talk with her, as an objective third party to help her deal with her feelings and to help present the facts of divorce to her.
Has she considered how long a divorce can take? Has she considered the financial implications of dividing the marital assets and supporting herself? Has she considered the cost of living and the impact on her life both in the short-term and long-term? The implications of a divorce are significant, and can affect both the physical, financial and even emotional lives of both partners for many years.
Divorce is seldom as simple as people imagine it to be, and it seldom brings the feelings of closure or satisfaction that people think it will as well. In fact, if people fully understood the emotional and financial isolation that a divorce brings, they would realize that in many cases divorce is not the easier option.
Considering the huge impact of divorce, it makes sense to explore the idea of counseling or at least make an attempt to communicate.
If someone is able to present the facts of divorce to her so she fully understands what she is getting into, you may be able to make some progress and open a dialogue. Other than that, you need to focus on making each interaction with her as positive as possible.
There is hope as long as you are able to keep loving your wife and show her that you do want to change and that your progress is visible and measurable. You have a long road ahead, but there is hope.
Make Hope Happen
If you are REALLY serious about saving your marriage, you need to give it your full attention, and your full effort. You need ALL the answers and ALL the techniques to rebuilding your marriage, and you need them right NOW. You can't afford to wait any longer!
This may be the difference in fixing a minor marriage problem before it becomes a major one. This may be the difference between saving your marriage and becoming a divorce statistic. Why take the risk when the answer to your problems is right in front of you?
Join the thousands of customers who have taken the next step to solving their marriage problems once and for all. They did more than just hope. They empowered themselves and blitzed their marriage problems by purchasing my life-changing course!
Here's what some of my customers had to say after taking their marriage-saving mission to the next level:
"I have had your help less than 12 hours. I can say it has not only started me on the process to save my marriage, but also in my other relationships (mother, daughter, friend, collegue). By taking your advice, my husband has said the 1st nice thing to me in 3 months. You only get one chance, I checked you out on a review and they rated you highly. I needed help immediately and I got it. Thank you."
"THANKS FOR ALL THE BOOKS, THEY WERE ALL A BLESSING. IT HAS REALLY HELP ME A LOT IN SAVING MY MARRIAGE. THANKS.
"Many thanks again all advice is appreciated and I am finding the book very good and helping me understand my and her feelings. A lot of it is so close to the truth it hurts."
Your marriage can be a success story too!
Not only is my Save My Marriage Today package going to give you the skills to save your marriage from the current crisis you are in, but it is also going to keep your marriage on the right track long into your future. These are lessons that are going to change the rest of your life and SAVE and STRENGTHEN your marriage
If you don't get the results you have been craving, then I don't want you to pay a penny. To put all the risk on my shoulders, I'm offering a 100% Unconditional Satisfaction Guarantee!
Take 8 weeks to examine and use the information, tips and techniques in "Save My Marriage Today!" That’s 56 days to put these valuable strategies to work on saving your marriage. If you aren’t satisfied for any reason, or it doesn’t live up to your expectations, you won’t be out one red cent. Just send me an email, and I will refund your payment. Right up to the final day of this 8-week guarantee.
Many of you could fix your marriage problems through the long and brutal path of trial and error and eventually may reach success, but there is a better way.
My customers send me messages all the time telling me how they have managed to turn their marriage around. And some of these marriages seemed like they were almost over. They decided to take control of
There is a lot more to learn, and it's all right in front of you! If you are serious about saving your marriage, you owe it to yourself and your spouse!
Take your marriage saving mission to the next level right now by ordering Save My Marriage Today right now. I promise you that you will never look back!
Want to Know More Ways To Rescue Your Marriage?
Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Get Save My Marriage Today and learn every last detail on what it takes to turn your marriage problems around and recreate the loving marriage that you always dreamed of. With our help, it is possible to rescue any marriage!
You can be on your way to repairing your marriage within minutes. Simply go to:
and get back your marriage today!
Yours in marriage success!
About "Save My Marriage Today"
The "Save My Marriage Today" course is a comprehensive collection of marriage rebuilding tools designed to assist troubled couples in turning around the negative patterns of behavior that exist in their marriages.
We have a range of experience with a large variety of problems among the members of the Save My Marriage Today team and have managed to help many couples in crisis turnaround their patterns of negative behavior. We have a range of life-changing e-books, and also have a new e-book specifically written for couples in extreme crisis. We also offer free access to personal consultations from a member of the "Save My Marriage Today" team.
I am sure that we can help with any problem that you may have in your marriage.
All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2003- 2018 SaveMyMarriageToday.com