When we are in times of crisis, it is human nature to put our fences up and withdraw to a place we feel secure. This place doesn’t have to be elaborate, and it doesn’t have to be significant. But it is a place where you are able to escape into your mind, listen to your inner voice, and a place where you feel safe. A place where you can just be you and not be judged or be accountable to others. Somewhere where you are able to be your true self.
I was discussing this with a psychologist the other day, and joking about my addiction to purchasing antiques and homewares. Gone are the days that I would get excited over a shirt or a cool pair of pants. Nowadays a beatiful vase, teaset or dish is more likely to release a rush of adrenalin into my system. Yesterday I purchased an two antique serving tureens, one dating from just after the turn of the century, and the other dating from just before. To be honest, I have little practical use for them, but the act of acquiring them and admiring them makes them very special.
To me, each item I own tells me a story. The antique tureens are over a century old, and holding them in my hands makes me wonder about the hands and eyes that have caressed this object over the years. Now it is mine to caress, to hold, and to use on special occasions, family rituals, and at banquets. Having these things around me enable me to escape to my special place and immerse in my true self.
My psychologist friend told me I am in a phase of feeding the soul, and responding to a need from within. Each acquisition adds to the feeling of security, serenity, and general good feeling. Other people I know call it nesting.
Feeding the soul can be many different things for different people. It may be collecting something, it may be shopping, it may be watching a movie. It may be listening to a favorite piece of music.
Nevertheless it is important to feed the soul and escape to your oasis. Your oasis is a good place to recapture your spirit or strength, and can be a good time to put the many issues of your life in perspective.
In times of crisis, like a marriage problem, it is especially important to make time in your schedule to feed your soul. Even half an hour on your own to soak in some sunshine in a local park, lose yourself in a favorite song, or immersing yourself in a book or a magazine, can offer you the escape that enables you to put your issues in perspective and offer you the strength to carry on.
Look for intervals in your busy schedule, and in the midst of your marriage crisis, look at how you can feed your soul. It might be the best hour you have spent in a while.
