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Legacy of 9/11

I am quite excited this week.

My partner and I have booked a house for the weekend over at Lake Brunner, a lazy lakeside village just the other side of the Southern Alps. Brunner is a hive of activity around Christmas time, with families descending upon the settlement with boats, jetskis, fishing rods and children in tow. However this time of the year it is quiet and secluded, and the only noise is the chirping of native birds and insects in the surrounding native bush that envelops the settlement.

It has been a while since we have been away for a break, so it is nice to take a break from the regular weekend routine of shopping, visiting friends, lunching in suburban cafes, and competing domestic chores such as laundry, mowing lawns, and gardening. I love my weekends at home, but a change of scenery and the promise of something different to our usual routine has me unusually excited.

I often talk to couples in crisis about the importance of spending time together, spending time away. A lot of couples I speak with cannot remember the last time they spent a weekend away, some as long as two or three years.

Following the anniversary of 9/11, it reminds us of the fragility of life, and how a single moment in time changed the world we live in and reminded so many of the precious gift of life we have. We survived where so many did not. We have no guarantee that we will have our partners forever, yet in the midst of a marriage crisis we tend to want to hurt them as much as they have hurt us.

The terrorist attacks that took place on that fateful day 5 years ago defined a moment in time for society, and almost anyone you speak with can remember where they were and what they were doing when they found out about it. The legacy to those that died that day should be a renewed appreciation for the many gifts in our lives, especially the relationships we have with others and the wonderful memories we can create.

Our petty everyday arguments seem futile when compared to the much larger issues of global terrorism and the upheaval that the families of the 9/11 victims have been through since they lost their husbands and loved ones. The magnitude of the grief and upheaval that came about as a result of that day puts things very much in perspective.

When is the last time you spent a weekend away together? When is the last time you escaped the monotony of your everyday lives to reconnect as a couple? When is the last time you made an effort to love your partner? Your ability to take time away and spent time alone as a couple will determine whether your marriage is going to work or not.

Now it is time for you to create some wonderful memories. Make it happen today.