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You’re right: there’s also a lot of homophobia out there and a

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

posted by admin

And just like we don’t think or have any indication that men who want or enjoy receptive sex aren’t “real men,” we don’t think or have any indication that women who don’t enjoy receptive sex aren’t “real.” We’re all real, and our gender identities are what they are and, ideally, nothing anyone should need to prove to or have proven by anyone else. Most of us who work in sexuality have a big problem with the idea that what kind of sex someone thinks about, wants or engages in tells us anything at all about somone’s gender, both because we know ideas like that tend to impact many people’s sense of self, sexuality and sexual lives negatively, and because we know that those ideas just don’t reflect the sexual realities of many, many people.You’re right: there’s also a lot of homophobia out there and a whole lot of hating on those of us who are queer. At the same time, we can say the same thing about gender dildos, about disability, about race, about being poor, about being an abuse survivor, about being a teenager: the list of groups who get dissed by others goes on and on and on.

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