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Getting the best out of marriage counseling
By Andrew Rusbatch
Despite the advances in therapy and the types of people getting great results from counseling, there is still a mindset of people who will only go to a counselor when all else seems lost.
I don't know how much of this stems from a "she'll be right" kind of attitude when it comes to acknowledging and fixing the problems in a marriage, hoping that time will fade the feelings and the problem will go away, or whether people's aversion to counseling comes from the humiliation of having to share intimate details about the failure of their relationship to someone who is in all effects, a stranger.
Days have long gone where you would both lay on couches while a counselor scribbles away on a notepad, grunting and nodding at appropriate moments before giving a summation of the problem and pushing you out the door with a bill and a prescription in hand.
Techniques and approaches to counseling and marriage therapy are much more evolved than they used to be, and there are a selection of different approaches counseling can adopt to fit the particular needs of couples and the situations each of them are in.
Your answers to the above questions are going to have an impact on how the counseling is guided, and what particular style of counseling is going to deliver the best outcome.
Perhaps one of the most important realizations about counseling is that the people who go to them are not necessarily in crisis in their marriage or personal life. Counselors are used more and more often as guides to maintain positive patterns of behavior and can counsel couples who are happily married and intend on strengthening their relationship.
You don't have to wait until your marriage is a mess. Those more proactive and motivated couples seek to strengthen what they already have, rather than wait until things start to deteriorate.
A marriage is something that calls us to make an effort and love one another every day, and the role of a counselor is either to guide you through this journey, or to help you pick up the pieces when things go bad.
Counseling happily married couples is recognizing that even when things are good, there are always things to learn about each other and improvements to be made. A powerful realization...
This type of counseling can also lend itself to business coaching and life mentoring, providing a valuable outside and objective perspective to business and personal decisions that need to be made.
The role of a counselor is to facilitate the examination and acknowledgment of the past and present, and to provide tools for your betterment so that your future is marked by a growth in perspective, and in what is needed to grow both as a individual and as a couple.
There is never a better time to invite a fresh perspective into your marriage.
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