Falling Out Of Love? Get Great Marriage-Saving Tips and Advice in My Free Newsletter Series!
Welcome to my Save My Marriage Today Newsletter Series! If you are looking for effective, powerful tips and techniques to save your marriage from the verge of divorce and rebuild the love that you both once had - even if your partner doesn't want to - then read on!
Have you and your partner fallen out of love?
Today's consultation centers around the issue of one partner falling out of love, either due to the onset of a mid-life crisis, or a depressive episode. This particular couple had been married for a number of years and have four children. This couple would be described by those around them as a stable middle-class family.
In addition to the husband falling out of love, he stated he wasn't
sure if he wanted closure on the relationship and wanted the option
to come back if he changed his mind. He also placed conditions on
the separation, stating that he felt neither of them should date
for a while and that they could continue to attend functions as
The idea of a partner wanting out of the relationship is hard enough, but this client is finding it hard with the uncertainty and the conditions placed on the separation.
I have removed any references that may identify the client, but felt that the response to this client is worthy of sharing with so many other couples out there in similarly harrowing circumstances.
Here is my response:
Thanks for your email.
He assumes that by removing himself from the marriage that he is
removing himself from the problem, and that his happiness is tied
somehow to his ability to change his living arrangements and
responsibilities to his wife and children.
Counseling will help him actually face and deal with
the problems that are affecting him. Even if he doesn't want to go
to counseling with you, he could do individual counseling.
This sounds as though he has the best of
both worlds. He absolves himself of responsibility to his wife and
family, yet believes he can still control how you will live your
life without him.
He expects you to put your life on hold in case he later
changes his mind. This is unacceptable, and you need to tell him
this. If he divorces you, you will date other people, reduce your
contact with him, and shift away. You need to point out to him how
his decisions are going to have consequences both for you and for
At the moment all of the decisions are centered around what is good for him. It is time you started communicating your feelings to him and making some decisions that are good for you.
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About "Save My Marriage Today"
The "Save My Marriage Today" course is a comprehensive collection of marriage rebuilding tools designed to assist troubled couples in turning around the negative patterns of behavior that exist in their marriages.
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