34 posts, pins and scripts that start conversations

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When a husband or wife says the marriage is over, the first words out of the other person's mouth are usually the ones that do the most damage.

Save My Marriage Today!, a course by relationship writer Amy Waterman, lists begging for forgiveness among the seven most common mistakes in a marriage crisis. The spouse who wants out has been unhappy for a long time. Then, within hours, they hear promises to change from someone who can't yet say what went wrong.

The course asks you to listen first and understand your own part in the problem, and it says that, over time, your actions will rebuild trust.

[Add one honest sentence about why this matters to your readers]

Read the course here (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

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Every kind thing you do for your spouse can be cancelled by one sentence afterwards.

Save My Marriage Today! describes a Love Bank in every marriage. Loving acts and words make deposits, and hurtful ones make withdrawals. The book says that if you resent the giving, or add "Now you have to do this for me," the deposit is null and void.

Steven B. from Virginia wrote after reading it: "I like the chapter on the Love Bank, its a brilliant concept."

[Add one honest sentence about a small kind act that matters in your home]

The course (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Mary's husband kept forgetting the groceries she needed for dinner, and every broken promise wore away at her trust.

What she did next is a story from a free 6-part email course, The 6 Most Common Reasons For Divorce (And How To Stop Them From Happening To You). It's from Save My Marriage Today, and it costs nothing.

[Add one honest sentence about why you're sharing it]

Sign up here (affiliate link, so I may earn a commission if you later buy the full course): {{FREE_COURSE_LINK}}

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One of the hardest places to be in a marriage is the spot where you want to fix things and your husband or wife doesn't.

Save My Marriage Today! was written with that person in mind. Its 38 exercises are each marked "Do Yourself" or "Do Together", and the course says plainly that you can start even if your spouse won't take part.

Almaz, a reader in Ethiopia, wrote to Amy Waterman: "I understand the better thing is to change myself instead of my spouse."

[Add one honest sentence about why this matters to your readers]

The course (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

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Jane had been married for 14 years and had two children when her husband came home one night and asked for a divorce.

She couldn't eat or sleep. She phoned her best friend in tears, and that friend was relationship writer Amy Waterman. Amy took her under her wing and taught her everything she knew about saving a marriage.

Jane stopped begging, blaming and playing the victim. Some of the steps Amy gave her seemed counter-intuitive at first. A few months later, Jane and her husband came to Amy's party hand in hand, "like a honeymoon couple".

Amy wrote it all down, tested it and turned it into the course Save My Marriage Today!

[Add one honest sentence about what struck you in Jane's story]

Read Amy's letter (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

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A marriage can have more than two people in it without anyone having an affair.

The in-laws. The friend who never quite took to your husband or wife. The ex who still seems to be somewhere in the room. Save My Marriage Today! gives them a whole chapter, When Marriage Is More Than Two. It covers the myths about in-laws and why a good relationship with them matters to the marriage itself, friends who sabotage a marriage, and what the book calls the ghost of partners past.

[Add one honest sentence about family and marriage from your own experience]

The course (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

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Plenty of couples have one argument they could recite word for word, and money is a common one.

Save My Marriage Today! gives money a chapter of its own, The Power of Money, and the course sets out techniques that stop the same arguments coming round again and again. It sits beside a chapter on teamwork, about becoming a team again even when it feels as if you're fighting on opposite sides.

[Add one honest sentence about how money talk goes in your home, or your readers']

The course (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Part 3 of a free email course from Save My Marriage Today is called Affairs: How to Spot Them and Prevent Them Before They Occur.

Sue Blair, who took the course, wrote: "I especially loved the one about affairs- Because i am always afraid of this happening to me."

The course is free and arrives in 6 parts by email, from the risk factors for divorce to growing apart.

[Add one honest sentence about why you're sharing it]

Sign up here (affiliate link, so I may earn a commission if you later buy the full course): {{FREE_COURSE_LINK}}

#ad "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

If you've heard those words, you know how final they sound.

Save My Marriage Today! calls it one of the most over-used phrases in marriage breakups. The "in love" rush at the start of a relationship fades, the book says, anywhere from six months to the first two or three years. When a spouse says it's gone, the book describes it as a transition, the point where both of you are being called to a deeper kind of love.

The course has a whole chapter on getting your spouse to fall back in love with you.

[Add one honest sentence about your own marriage or your followers']

Link in bio (affiliate link).

Slide 1: 7 mistakes people make when their marriage is in crisis
Slide 2: 1. Trying to fix it as quickly as possible
Slide 3: 2. Saying "It wasn't me"
Slide 4: 3. Begging for forgiveness
Slide 5: 4. Giving up because your spouse has
Slide 6: 5. Believing "I'm not in love with you" means it's over
Slide 7: 6. Suggesting a trial separation
Slide 8: 7. Wishing you had your old life back
Slide 9: All seven come from Save My Marriage Today! by Amy Waterman. Link in bio.

Caption:
#ad Number 6 sounds like the calm, sensible choice, and the book explains why it isn't. Save My Marriage Today! explains why each of these makes saving a marriage harder, and what to do in its place.

[Add one honest sentence about which one you've seen most often]

Link in bio (affiliate link).

#ad Save My Marriage Today! has a name for the small things a couple does together every week: couple rituals.

It might be dinner at the table with the television off, a Sunday morning reading the paper and sharing the best bits aloud, or a dancing class you take together. The book says a ritual can be big or small, and that the only requirements are that you do it regularly and that it means something to the two of you.

What's yours? [Add your own ritual here]

The course is linked in my bio (affiliate link).

#ad A marriage crisis has stages, and Amy Waterman counts five of them.

In Save My Marriage Today!, the chapter Coping With Crisis helps you work out which of the 5 stages of crisis you're in and how to handle each one. The same chapter covers the crises that press on a marriage from outside: alcohol, drug and gambling dependency, depression, and the death of someone you love.

[Add one honest sentence about a hard season you or your followers have come through]

Link in bio (affiliate link).

Slide 1: 8 things people say when they want out of a marriage
Slide 2: "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore..."
Slide 3: "We've grown apart."
Slide 4: "You've changed."
Slide 5: "You're not exciting or fun anymore."
Slide 6: "I've met someone else and I think I love them..."
Slide 7: "I hate you!" and "I'm sick of your nagging!"
Slide 8: "I don't want to be married anymore and there's nothing you can say that will make me change my mind."
Slide 9: Amy Waterman: the reason given may not be the real one. Save My Marriage Today! Link in bio.

Caption:
#ad Every one of these lines comes from Amy Waterman's letter for Save My Marriage Today! She says a spouse may hide the real reasons, for fear of hurting you or of looking bad, or may not fully understand them yet. None of them has to mean the end of a marriage if you don't want it to.

[Add one honest sentence about which line you hear about most]

Link in bio (affiliate link).

Slide 1: The 6 steps in the life cycle of a marriage
Slide 2: 1. Romance and infatuation
Slide 3: 2. After the honeymoon
Slide 4: 3. Staking your territories
Slide 5: 4. Evaluation
Slide 6: 5. Reconnection
Slide 7: 6. Commitment
Slide 8: From Save My Marriage Today! by Amy Waterman. Link in bio.

Caption:
#ad The second chapter of Save My Marriage Today! walks through all six steps, and a later chapter takes on the plateau: the mid-marriage crisis, play and laughter, and couple rituals.

Which step are the two of you on? [Add your own answer here]

Link in bio (affiliate link).

#ad Aggressive, passive or assertive: when your partner goes on the attack, which one comes out first?

Save My Marriage Today! has a chapter called Combating Conflicts that goes through all three, along with anger, triggers and what is really going on underneath an argument. Amy Waterman even explains why arguing can be good for a marriage, and how to settle things in a way that leaves you both calmer.

[Add one honest sentence about your own default in an argument]

Link in bio (affiliate link).

Pin title: 7 Mistakes to Avoid When Your Marriage Is in Crisis

Description: Begging, blaming and suggesting a trial separation are three of the seven mistakes Save My Marriage Today! warns about when a marriage is in trouble. See all seven, and what to do in their place. #ad (affiliate link)

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Alt text: Text pin reading 7 mistakes to avoid when your marriage is in crisis

Pin title: Don't Start the Talk With "We Need to Talk About Our Marriage"

Description: Save My Marriage Today! explains why that opening puts a spouse on guard before you've said anything else, and what to say instead when you want to raise a problem. #ad (affiliate link)

Destination link: {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Alt text: Text pin with the words We need to talk crossed out

Pin title: The 6 Most Common Reasons for Divorce, and How to Stop Them

Description: A free 6-part email course from Save My Marriage Today: why you should ignore the risk factors, the real marriage killer, affairs, poor communication, lack of commitment and growing apart. #ad (affiliate link)

Destination link: {{FREE_COURSE_LINK}}

Alt text: Text pin announcing a free 6-part course on the most common reasons for divorce

Pin title: The 5 Stages of a Marriage Crisis, and How to Handle Each One

Description: Save My Marriage Today! by Amy Waterman helps you work out which of the 5 stages of crisis your marriage is in and what to do at each stage, with help for crises such as dependency, depression and grief. #ad (affiliate link)

Destination link: {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Alt text: Text pin reading the 5 stages of a marriage crisis

Pin title: The 6 Steps in the Life Cycle of a Marriage

Description: Romance and infatuation, after the honeymoon, staking your territories, evaluation, reconnection and commitment. Save My Marriage Today! explains each step, and what to do when a marriage stalls on a plateau. #ad (affiliate link)

Destination link: {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Alt text: Timeline pin showing the six steps in the life cycle of a marriage

Pin title: How to Choose the Right Marriage Counselor

Description: The last chapter of Save My Marriage Today! is about when to seek professional help, with a checklist to find the right counselor for you and get the most from them. #ad (affiliate link)

Destination link: {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Alt text: Text pin reading how to choose the right marriage counselor

A marriage book asks one question I can't stop thinking about: which is more important to you, being right or being together?

It's from Save My Marriage Today! #ad {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

1/ When a marriage gets shaky, one idea sounds calmer than all the others: one of you moves out for a while so you can both think.

2/ Save My Marriage Today! calls this a BIG mistake, in capital letters, and says a trial separation should never be the first option.

3/ The reason: time apart mostly teaches two people how to live on their own. Once you've both adjusted to that, saving the marriage gets much harder.

4/ If you need space, the book suggests separate places for the day and the same routine at home at night.

5/ The full chapter covers seven mistakes like this one. #ad {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

One marriage book argues that most marriage problems "aren't caused by lack of love or irreconcilable differences". It blames poor communication, poor conflict resolution and neglected priorities. All three can be learned.

Save My Marriage Today! #ad {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Every exercise in Save My Marriage Today! is marked "Do Yourself" or "Do Together". If you're the only one trying right now, you can still start tonight. #ad {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

1/ After an affair, there are two people in pain, and they're hurting in very different ways.

2/ The one who was cheated on needs to know whether trust can come back. The one who cheated needs to know whether there's a way back at all.

3/ Book 2 of Save My Marriage Today! has a chapter called The Anatomy of an Affair that looks at it from both sides.

4/ The main course adds a chapter on whether to stay or go, and a 4-step formula to stop cheating dead in its tracks.

5/ Rhonda K. wrote: "The true examples from real people gave me insight that you can really survive an affair!" #ad {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Slamming the door ends an argument. So does a day of silence. Neither leaves anyone calmer. Save My Marriage Today! has a whole chapter on doing it differently, and on why arguing can be good for a marriage. #ad {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Hook (on screen and spoken): When your spouse says they want out, your first words matter more than you think.

Most of us plead. We say sorry and promise to change.

A marriage course I've been reading, Save My Marriage Today!, lists begging for forgiveness among the seven mistakes to avoid in a crisis.

Your spouse has been unhappy for a long time. Then they hear promises from someone who can't yet say what went wrong.

The course says listen first, understand your part, and let your actions rebuild trust over time.

[Say one honest sentence about why this hit home for you]

The link's in my bio. It's an affiliate link.

Spoken disclosure at the start or end: "This is a paid link, I earn a commission if you buy."

Hook: One sentence can cancel every kind thing you do for your spouse.

A marriage course called Save My Marriage Today! says every marriage has a Love Bank.

Kind acts and words go in as deposits. Hurtful ones come out as withdrawals.

Here's the catch. If you do something kind and then say "Now you have to do this for me," the book says the deposit is null and void.

[Say one honest sentence about a deposit you made this week]

Link in my bio, and yes, it's an affiliate link.

Hook (on screen and spoken): Married fourteen years, two kids, and one night he came home and asked for a divorce.

That's what happened to Jane, the best friend of relationship writer Amy Waterman.

Jane couldn't eat or sleep. She rang Amy in tears.

Amy taught her everything she knew. Jane stopped begging, stopped blaming, and did things that felt backwards at first.

A few months later, Jane and her husband walked into Amy's party hand in hand.

Amy wrote down what she taught Jane. It became a course called Save My Marriage Today!

[Say one honest sentence about what you took from Jane's story]

Link's in my bio. It's an affiliate link.

Spoken disclosure at the start or end: "This is a paid link, I earn a commission if you buy."

Hook (on screen and spoken): "We've grown apart." "You've changed." It might not be the real reason.

Relationship writer Amy Waterman says when someone wants out of a marriage, the reason they give often isn't the whole story.

Sometimes they don't want to hurt you. Sometimes they don't want to look bad. And sometimes they don't fully understand the real reason themselves.

Her course, Save My Marriage Today!, is about digging beneath those lines to what's really going on, so you stop having the same argument over and over.

[Say one honest sentence about why this rang true for you]

Link's in my bio, and it's an affiliate link.

Hook (on screen and spoken): What if you're the only one trying to save your marriage?

Plenty of marriage advice only works if both of you are on board.

Save My Marriage Today! was written so you can start alone. It has 38 exercises, and every one is marked either "Do Yourself" or "Do Together".

The "Do Yourself" ones are for exactly this: when your husband or wife won't talk, won't read, won't go to counseling, and you still want to try.

[Say one honest sentence about why this matters]

Link's in my bio. It's an affiliate link.

Spoken disclosure at the start or end: "This is a paid link, I earn a commission if you buy."

Disclosure: the link below is an affiliate link. If you buy through it I earn a commission, at no extra cost to you.

Save My Marriage Today! by Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch:
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In this video I look at what's inside: a 158-page course in 20 chapters with 38 exercises, Book 2 for marriages in extreme crisis, a personal email consultation and five bonus books, for $49.95 with a 60-day money-back guarantee.

[Add your chapter times here, such as 0:00 Intro, 1:10 The seven mistakes]

Not ready to buy? The free 6-part course: {{FREE_COURSE_LINK}}

Pinned comment: The course I talk about in this video is here (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

Disclosure: the links below are affiliate links. If you buy through them I earn a commission, at no extra cost to you.

Save My Marriage Today! by Amy Waterman:
{{AFFILIATE_LINK}}

In this video I talk about saving a marriage when you're the only one trying. Save My Marriage Today! has 38 exercises, each marked "Do Yourself" or "Do Together", so you can start even if your spouse won't take part. The order includes Book 2 for marriages in extreme crisis, a personal email consultation and five bonus ebooks, for $49.95 with a 60-day money-back guarantee.

[Add your chapter times here, such as 0:00 Intro, 1:20 Why one person can start]

Not ready to buy? The free 6-part course: {{FREE_COURSE_LINK}}

Pinned comment: The course I mention in this video is here (affiliate link): {{AFFILIATE_LINK}}